You think something so enjoyable would be at the top of your to-do list. But even if it is, it still seems to be the thing that falls to the wayside for too many people. Too busy. Too tired. Too irritated with your partner. Whatever the excuse, it’s time to sally forth.

Sex is important. It doesn’t just feel good. It’s the intimacy glue that binds couples together in a way that nothing else can. Sex is required for the health of your relationship. Not to mention your health in general. So, make it a priority.

We talk to our friends about almost everything. Yet, we rarely talk to our friends about sex. I don’t mean casual conversations that are filled with more innuendo than facts. I’m talking about, well, really talking. Your friends can be a great go-to for talking through the highs and lows.

Maybe you’re not so sure about trying something new. Or maybe your partner is suddenly acting strangely. Your friends may have already been down that road and can either offer you advice or point you in the direction of someone who can.

The New Year is a great time to finally do that “thing” that you’ve been talking about doing forever. Maybe it’s a new position. Maybe it’s a new location. Maybe it’s a new addition to who joins the fun. Whatever it is, there’s no point in waiting any longer. The sooner you do it, the sooner you can either write it off as “did that once, never again” or add it to the list of “can’t wait for round two!”

You can never learn too much when it comes to sex. The best thing you can do for yourself and your partner is to educate yourself. Read anything and everything you can get your hands on from reliable sources. You just might discover something new. And, if nothing else, it’s sure to inspire you to get down to business on the regular.

People change. That means that their interests and desires change too. It can be easy to get in a rut. A sex check-in is a great thing to do every year. Talk to your partner. Ask how she’s feeling about the sex you’re having. Tell her to feel free to be honest, and make sure you are too. It’s okay to say that you think things could be better. That’s what a sex check is all about.

There is nothing less sexy than a dirty or cluttered room. It can be easy to stop seeing the things that are always right in front of you. How’s the lighting? What state are the sheets in? What’s on the floor? Is the room clean? How does it smell? High thread-count sheets, a fantastic smelling candle, subtle lighting, and the like can really light a spark for your partner, and you may be pleasantly surprised at what it can do for you too.

Sex toys are not the enemy. Adding a vibrator or dildo or harness or plug to your play does not mean there is anything lacking in your sex lives. The truth is, real men love anything that enhances sex for their partner. The female anatomy is not designed to gain maximum pleasure from penetration, even if that works best for the male anatomy. So, there is no shame in calling in the reinforcements. Trust me, she’ll reward you for it many times over.

You’ve read it before and it bears repeating: Penetration alone does not lead to orgasm for the majority of women. When it comes to female orgasm the clitoris is the main attraction. Because the clit is on the outside of a woman’s body just above her vaginal opening, it may not get the consistent and constant vibration that it requires for maximum pleasure-making.

There are positions that allow you or her to attend to the clit and lots of toys that can assist with that as well. And there’s nothing wrong with getting her off before you enter her. Then if she comes again during penetration, great. And if not, well, you’ve already put a smile on her face, making her all the more likely to want to put a smile on yours.